When life gives you Gucci Mane, according to New York consensus, you’ve just GOTTA jump in front of his SUV, marooning yourself on his windshield like a beached beluga screaming, “I LOVE YOU, GUCCI. TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME.” I scream the same thing, except it’s when I’m in the Gucci portion of Saks Fifth Avenue, after I’ve ducked into there to use the men’s room. And it’s more of a quiet, mental roar, due to public decency.
New York Note: Always memorize where the public restrooms are in this city. Your colon and white underwear will thank you.
Anyways. In the vein of the recent “logomania” trend that has been happening across fashion collections since the dawn of Supreme and the latest “Guccy” collection by Alessandro Michele of Gucci, Diesel took to Canal Street to sell it’s very own knock-off of itself. Now, Canal Street, for those of you unfamiliar, is like… watching Chop Suey Panda on Netflix expecting it to be Kung Fu Panda. It’s like Pokyfriends versus Pokemon–it’s just not the same. If you buy either for your kids, you know they won’t be happy. But here’s the catch-22 with Deisel: it’s a very real product, manufactured by Diesel itself. Now, why on earth would you patent your own knockoff?
If you think about it, that’s what an outlet store is, brands marketing their product for a lower cost, sacrificing quality for a namesake. Diesel, to strengthen their brand and appeal to an even younger trendier crowd, has done this like so many companies before them, just off Canal Street versus an outlet mall. I’ll give it this, it’s a fun way to embrace the underbelly of the fashion’s black market, and the goods are actual high quality Diesel… or Deisel. You can score pieces from 10-200 dollars, a fraction of the original prices, for a one-of-a-kind piece.
Here’s where I fit into the picture: I waited in line for two hours to see just how hypable it was. Gucci Mane was there, and he’s cool, right? I’m cool. Probably. I don’t hang out on Canal Street, and not because I’m bourgeois and afraid of buying a knockoff. No. I just have resting rich person face, but let me tell you. The trust fund is a lie. I’m just afraid of getting mugged.
Leave it to Diesel to storm New York Fashion Week by challenging branding standards. In the end, it wasn’t my scene, so just like Billy Zane in Titanic, I jumped ship onto new adventures, dusting of the layer of permafrost caked onto my body after chilling for two hours on Canal Street.
Literally chilled. New York City was a cold bitch today. Gucci Mane had it good in his Floridian plated SUV–he is on to greener pastures, while I bask in the glow of my space heater, cooking at a ripe 79 degrees.
I digress. Here’s the moral of today’s story: on Canal or off-Canal, tacky is still tacky.
If I were to buy a piece from the collection, I wouldn’t buy into the logomania trend and invest in the denim instead. Even if it the name is wrong, you can never argue a good pair of jeans. Diesel will have the pop-up shop in Canal Street for a few days to check out, if you’re in town! But, if you’re absolutely starved to be a billboard ‘For Successfull Living’, the full limited edition line will be available online at diesel.com.
PS: Moral number two: Gucci Mane does not have any brand affiliation with Gucci. Who knew???